Here Comes the Bride
by Karmic-Balance
Summary: Serena and Darien together forever... that is if they can make it there in one piece. Sequel to A Hard Day.
1. Chapter 1

All I could do was stare, trying desperately to decipher what this horror in front of me could be

Hello one and all. I know it's been years since I've made an appearance but I've recently stumbled across my story A Hard Day. Which this is the sequel to. I hope this lives up to everyone's expectations.

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All I could do was stare, trying desperately to decipher what this horror in front of me could be. Trying to figure out what depraved mind could possibly think up such indecencies against all mankind. It was like time came to a stand still as I looked on in fear. It was worse then I could remember.

"Please don't make me…" I begged the woman next to me not to be so cruel as to allow this injustice to take place. I closed my eyes, pleading with this woman I once called friend.

"Oh my God Sere, I swear you need to be locked up! It is just a dress! You will only have to wear it once and after that you can burn it for all I give a damn!" The blasted woman! I swear to all that is unholy I will have my revenge!

"Fine Mina, fine! As usual you get your way." Okay so maybe I was overreacting just a tad. But please, let's take a vote. How many women have had to wear a hideous bridesmaid dress? And how many did it without putting up a fight? I rest my case. But just to give a little detail to my case, this is not your typical hideous monstrosity. Oh no. This looks like a demon spawned from every stereotype of the 80's. The sleeves, if you can call them that, are off the shoulder puffballs! The dress is skintight but not in a good way. The material is made out of a synthetic type of rubber so the tighter it is the more rolls there seems to be. And trust me when I say it's not from me! Well it's skintight until it reaches my knees. Oh no ladies and gents, once this embarrassing creation reaches my knees its turns into a fish tail or mermaid tail, whatever the hell the "designer" wants to call it. You may be thinking 'oh that's not THAT bad' or maybe even 'just grin and bear it' but my lovelies, I have not told you the best part. Oh no no no, I have not. The dress is sea foam blue! Sea effing foam blue! Why you ask would anyone want sea foam as their color theme…

Sorry I was holding in my uncontrollable laughter and tears, but this color was chosen because, if anyone is weak of heart you may want to sit down right about now, I am going to a nautical themed wedding! Yes that is right, I am taking part in a nautical themed wedding. What I wouldn't give for a ravenous pack of wolves to show up to rip me and that wretched dress to pieces. I don't even know why I am doing this. Carrie isn't even a friend. Mina and I met her when we were strolling through the mall. And by met I mean collided into. What? There was a sale at Victoria's Secret and a girl can never have enough hydro-bras! Anyway, Carrie had put on this show of pain and agony, crying about a sprained ankle. We helped her up and bought her lunch as an apology. Ever since then we have been dodging her calls and her "surprise" visits.

Well to make a long story short, voila! Ah humiliation my old friend. As I was standing on a podium surrounded by mirrors, looking at myself pretending to be seafood, I realized something. The proverbial light bulb just turned on.

"Mina darling, could you please hand me my purse?" I asked in my most sweet, innocent voice. Mina just smiled and nodded. Plucking my purse out from underneath her bundle of rubber and ruffles. My mouth was watering as she neared with my purse. Oh just a few seconds longer and I'll be free. I try to stay calm, keeping my eagerness disguised as I casually take my purse. Once I have it in my hands though I can't help but gloat. You'd think Mina would know all my tricks by now. Like a madwoman I ruffle through my belongings. Where is it! I know I tucked it away in here…

"Looking for something?" Crap. I guess turning my purse upside down and shaking all the contents onto the floor wasn't the best way to be nonchalant. I sigh in defeat as my eyes finally rise to rest on my best friend. What the hell… okay scratch that last thought, she is no longer my best friend.

"Mina give that to me!" Why does she have to know all my tricks? Note to self, think up new tricks and test them out on Mina.

"Sere, my dearest and oldest friend. If I have to swim down the aisle next to flounder, then you my sweet must swim with Sebastian." Mina just smiled as she gave the saleswoman the broken pen that I had wrapped in paper in my purse. Damn it all to hell. That was my last ditch effort. The damn pen had broken, on me, during a meeting two hours ago. Since there was no trashcan around I just wrapped it in some sheets of paper and placed it in my purse until I could properly dispose of it. The damn thing had left a stain so stubbornly in place on my favorite blouse! Why oh why do I have to tell Mina all the little details of my mundane little life?

"Serena did you really think that was going to work? I mean for heaven's sake! These damn things are flame retardant! Did you truly believe a little pen ink would ruin the dress so immensely you'd be kicked out of the ceremony?" She had a point I guess. I saw her "accidentally" pour red wine on her dress at my house when we first received these things. The wine just rolled right off the dress onto my brand new Persian rug. At least one thing was permanently stained in her experiment.

"I still don't understand Mina. Why are we even doing this? And why on earth did we allow ourselves to pay 200 for these things?!" Such absurdity. I don't believe I have ever spent money so foolishly. I mean sure I did blow 400 in Atlantic City but who hasn't lost their will power to say no to a demanding slot machine?

"Because 'We are just the best friends any girl can ask for! Who else could ever play such an important role on a girl's most important day!' I swear Serena if I wasn't a pacifist I'd shave her head!" I watch Mina with a smile on my face. Mina was probably the nicest person in the world. It always makes me giggle when I hear her try to be mean.

"Uh I think what you meant to stay peace lover, is if you weren't so nice you'd knock her fake ass out!" I am nowhere near a pacifist. In fact I'd erase that word from the human mind if I could. Whoever heard of being nice? Not a route I enjoy taking.

"Jeez Sere can you ever just play nice?" Before I could even roll my eyes or retort Mina interjects with a devious smile on her face. "Oh I guess if Carrie were a gorgeous hunk with dark blue eyes and a killer bod you'd play nice." Mina's eyes are just twinkling with merriment as she watches me shut my mouth and squint my eyes. Oh that was low. One lapse of judgment and she never lets its go! Ok so that one lapse of judgment turned into the best relationship I have ever had but still! Men are right; women can never let anything go. What else would we occupy our time with? Healthy, sane relationships? Like that could ever satisfy any woman.

"_I swear. By the moon and the stars in the sky_,_" _Shit. Please don't hear that. I see Mina's eyes widen as she realizes what is going on. "_I swear like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there."_ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. She is never EVER going to let this one go. I hop down from the podium I was on and waggle towards where my phone was. _"For better or worse," _Briefly acknowledging the fact that every wiggle or waggle I made, I sounded like a squeegee. _"Till death do us part," _Shit. She got it. I hopped one last time in a desperate attempt to make the embarrassing noise stop. _"I'll love you with every beat of my heart."_

"Why Serena Moira Carter, I never knew you were such the romantic. One moment please." I watch in horror as she raises one finger at me to silence me and answers the phone. She puts on such a smile it makes me smack my hand over my eyes. She can be such a bimbo sometimes. But I mean that with all the love I have.

"Hello? Oh hello Darien. Yeah Serena is here. She is just a little bundled up right now so I figured I'd help her by answering the phone…Oh yeah she loves the dress...Uh huh…. Oh yeah you should see her in the moonlight under the stars." At that little jab I snatched my phone from her hands and flicked her in the forehead. I laughed lightly as I watch her raise a hand to her head in indignation.

"Hey honey. Yeah Mina is just being typical Mina." I stick my tongue out at her not wanting to go into details of how _typical _Mina was being.

"_So are we still on for tonight? I'm dying to see you." _I could hear the lust in his voice, sending chills down my back. That man had an insatiable appetite. But then again I've always been told I have quite the appetite myself.

"Yeah as soon as I peel this dress off, I'll head right home. But this time we are going out!" I hear his deep chuckle, as I'm sure he remembers our last date night. We were supposed to go to the theater; all I did was brush his hair out of his eyes and kiss his neck. And then bam! We were rolling around in the sheets for the next two hours. My eyes start to glaze…what a night.

_"I could peel that dress off if you'd like my sweet." _Its bizarre how he can sound so silky and seductive at the drop of a hat.

"Babe if it were that easy I'd already have you over. But I think I may have to be smoked out. I have a feeling this dress won't go down without a fight." I stare down at my self, contemplating how to get rid of this enemy. I start to twist and bend, maybe it'll just tear off my body. Hey I'd rather walk around naked on the streets then be seen in this. Drastic you say? Smart I say. If anyone saw me in this thing I'd probably get thrown into a take filled with lobsters and crayfish. I can see it now, people lining up, trying to decide which to pick. Which would it be? The succulent lobster tail, that causes a mouth to water or the blonde badly imitating a mermaid who causes the tears of joy to run.

_"Alright…But I get to peel you out of something soon!" _He's so adorable. How ever did I not see that right away? I mean sure he was naked with another man, I turned she into a he in my mind, for his own safety, well anyway he was still adorable!

"Sounds like the perfect date night. But don't forget we have to be at the restaurant at eight. Otherwise Carrie will freak. I mean everyone knows if the dinner rehearsal goes awry the marriage will be doooooomed to divorce!" The woman was such a patsy. I mean for goodness sake, no one has three dinner rehearsals!

_"Whatever you say sexy. See you later love." _Oh how I loved hearing him saying that. Its ironic how out of all my friends I allow such terms of endearment slide. I was always the one gagging when I heard 'cupcake' or 'schnickerdoodle' but not anymore.

"Okay schnickerdoodle. See you then." What? I said I not anymore. Now I love schickerdoodle. I mean who doesn't smile when they hear that? As I close my phone, smiling to myself I realized I made one vital mistake. I talked. In front of Mina!

"Hi, this is cynicism calling. I'm looking for a Miss Serena Carter. She checked out a few weeks ago and we just wanted to make sure she was coming back." Mina always full of jokes just looked at me and started laughing. Huffing I just roll the dress off me, with help from the saleswoman of course. It's best just to ignore her otherwise she keeps going. "So does that mean when you two get married you'll be Mrs. Schnickerdoodle? Or are you going to keep your maiden name?"

"Har har. I'm sure the audience inside your head is roaring with laughter. ANYWAY, we better get going. The sooner we head out the sooner we can get this dinner rehearsal over with!" Lord ain't that the truth!

"Oh my god… Mina… I'm supposed to make a speech tonight…" The horror of the night increasing ten fold. Who the hell deems it necessary to have a woman, you are barely friends with, give a speech at your dinner REHEARSAL? I'll tell you who, a crazy woman who wishes to die early in life. Not at my hand of course! I would never use my hands for murder…now my car is an entirely different story.

"Well Sere you better start making with the fluff and lies because that's all that will please her. Just remember BIG exaggerations and expensive tales of fancy." Mina pats me on the back as my shoulders droop dejectedly. This is going to be a long night.

--

"Serena come on. Just wing it. It's not like anyone will even be listening to you. This woman enjoys the spotlight on her. So just say a couple sentences and toss the limelight on her. She'll love ya for it." I haven't stopped pacing since I walked in my front door. Darien arrived about forty-five minutes ago. Or I should say forty-five minutes early. He obviously had been hoping for some action before dinner but I was so stressed out I completely ignored his advances of sexual excitement.

"Darien please! Everyone will be looking at me. I have to put some thought into this speech otherwise…God I hate public speaking. Why would anyone ever need to talk in front of people? It's ludicrous!" I always froze up when it came to public speaking. One time I even fell to the floor unconscious. My friends woke me up laughing their asses off. Lita was going on and on about how she had seen goats on animal planet fall over on their sides as a defense mechanism.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of goats and hatred or public speaking that I hadn't even noticed Darien's arms wrapping around my waist. Oh how he was now pressed against my backside. His warm breath tickling my ear. His hands were massaging my waist and then his right hand slid into the inside of my pants playing with my panty line.

"Baby we only have twenty-minutes…wouldn't you rather be satisfied." Even though I wasn't looking at him I could feel him smiling. But soon I felt his lips on my neck. Then I felt my knees go weak. Damn him, he knew all my buttons. His mouth was hot on my neck, his tongue licking and teeth nipping at me. I twisted around, looking him straight in the eyes. Well maybe this would be a better way to spend twenty minutes.

"Well what are you waiting for? Satisfy me." Even though I didn't say it in a commanding voice he needed no further insistence from me. He brought his lips down on mine, slipping his tongue into my mouth in a sultry, devastating kiss. God how he could make me ache. But how I loved how I throbbed. Pulling away from me, he gave me a boyish grin and scooped me up into his arms carrying me into bed. And the clock starts now.

--

"I knew we were going to be late! Once just wasn't enough!" I was scolding him for something I encouraged. Yes I know that makes it my fault but I'd rather try to pin this one on him!

"Uh I do believe you were the one who unzipped my pants miss. Or were those not your hands slipping into boxers?" He gave me a sly grin because we both know whose fault our tardiness really was. But God damn me now if anyone could survive those looks. Just as I was pulling myself out of the thought of a round three taking place in the backseat of my car, I saw Raye standing outside smoking and waving us down. All right God I get your message loud and clear!

"There you guys are! Carrie has been boo-hooing for the last fifteen minutes about how no one realizes this is all about her and how our 'insensitivity to that is hurting her psyche.' Who feeds her this bullshit?" Raye takes a long drag off her cigarette and closes her eyes as the calming effect of nicotine does its job of soothing her nerves. Raye hasn't smoked a cigarette in a while. Welcome one, welcome all to the circus act of tonight's events. That woman could drive a nun to murder.

"Sorry but someone needed seconds." My eyes bulged as Darien effortlessly gave away our reason of tardiness to my dear friend. What a cad. Always has to brag when we have hot…steamy…sensual…mind-blowing…wait did I have a point?

"Eww. Just get in there would you. She is waiting on your speech before she allows any of us to eat. And girl I am fucking starving." Raye dropped the cigarette, extinguishing it with her Jimmy Choos. Wait a minute…

"Yes hi, aren't those my ridiculously expensive shoes you just snuffed a cigarette with?" I have been looking for those damn shoes for a week now! I bought those with my Christmas bonus. I figured after months of drooling on a display window I could get some of my dignity back by actually purchasing them.

Clearing her voice I see Raye quickly motion for us to hurry inside muttering something about, "doesn't notice wearing two different shoes but THIS she notices." Well how can you not notice the love of your life on someone else? Darien just laughs to himself and takes my hand, leading me to walk the plank. I gulped, that could very literally happen tonight with the extreme Carrie has gone to, to make sure everything is nautical.

--

Two minutes to show time. I cannot believe I let Darien distract me with sex! What a gigolo. Old habits sure do love to die quite hard. Oh boy, I can't understand what Greg, the best man is saying but I can just tell it's coming to a close. That means I'm next. Son of a bitch why am I so easily persuaded into things! And it was that very moment that I felt a hand slide up my inner thigh making me gasp with pleasure and horror. I slapped away his hand and he just nuzzles my neck whispering something. What did he say? My hearing seems to have slowly deteriorated. I think it was important because now he is nudging me. I open my eyes fully and notice dozens of eyes on me and a microphone in my face. That man is out to humiliate me. I take the mike and as I stand casually elbow him in the face. I smile triumphantly as I hear him curse and rub his nose.

"Good evening. Well so nice to see everyone." Who the heck are these people. No way does this woman know this many people. "Well Carrie and I have been friends for so many…months now. Who knew she was so hard to get rid of." I laugh nervously. "But seriously Carrie you are a lucky girl to get what every girl wants." A rich man and no prenup… "You found your other half and I wish you the best of luck. You make happiness look so easy. Congratulations." I lift my glass to her and everyone follows suit. The champagne in my glass is gone before the first round of cheers is finished.

"She makes it look easy huh? Then I really must correct my technique." Darien whispers into my ear. If he perfects his technique anymore then I'll be glorified putty in his hands. I just turn my face into his, inhaling his scent. He never wore cologne because I always told him that his natural scent was far more alluring. I love having an influence of his habits.

"If that's happiness then you and I must be miserable. God I just want tomorrow to be over and done with already. Her circus show is going to be the death of any dignity I have left." I say exasperated. Dinner is slow to come to a close, anything to keep the attention on her for just a moment longer. Yeah lets forget the fact that tomorrow is her wedding, a day entirely devoted to her love. Whenever my turn comes, I will take great joy in telling her 'Oh it's just a small ceremony for family only.' Maybe her head will explode. She'll start saying 'does not compute, does not compute.' And then kaboom!

--

Shit was it step pause step or step step pause? Shit! Why don't I ever pay attention? It's probably because I had to listen to Carrie talk for about half an hour about how this is THE most important day or her life and if we did anything to mess it up she'd cut us out of her life forever! Oh how tempting. Perhaps that is why I stopped listening. My subconscious is trying to save my life!

"Sere move your damn ass!" I hear Mina's hushed and angry whisper as she turns her head back to look at me. I quickly take the arm of my escort, a fifteen year old, pimply-faced youngster. I think Darien had something to do with my escort. I look straight ahead, seeing the rose petals on the walkway. Flowers were at the head of every pew. This was a moment I was looking forward to, more than I think I have ever realized. I looked to Darien. His sexy smile staring back at me. I wish I could read his thoughts right now. Probably smiling at the thought of this fifteen year old feeling me up. Which yes he did try already.

I take my place at the altar and turn my head back in the direction I just came from. The music changes to that of the traditional wedding march. Carrie is standing at the entrance with her father smiling proudly. Even though I honestly don't like the girl she did look stunning. And I truly wish her happiness and luck in this. Okay sappy moment quota met and forgotten.

"Do you Carrie Lee Myers take…" Oh crap. No. No. Not now. Why in front of all these people do things like this have to happen. I knew that breakfast burrito was going to come back and haunt me. Oh I hope no one heard that. Yes I did just fart but I tried so hard not to! I try to look nonchalant but as I glance backward I see Mina looking quite angry and she casually waves her hand in front of her face. I mouth 'I'm sorry' to her. I just pray no one else noticed.

--

The ceremony was over. Finally. We were sitting at the table nearest the bride and groom. Carrie felt that her wedding party didn't need to be sitting at the same table as her and her husband. Of course not though, because everyone's eyes wouldn't be on just her. Not that I care because now I don't have to make small talk with her. It still astounds me that she asked Mina and myself to be her bridesmaids. I was about to dig into my steak when I felt Darien massaging my thigh. I turn and see him grinning at me with a devious smile. He wanted something…and I have a pretty good idea as to what that is. He casually excused himself and I wait about thirty seconds before mumbling something about a breakfast burrito. I'm wandering through the halls, cursing because Darien got such a lead and I lost him when I feel him pull me into a closet.

"Gotta be quiet baby…" He whispers into my neck as I moan loudly. I quickly gain a little control and quiet my moans. His hands were quickly under my dress, working wonders. I could hear him curse under his breath when he realized how difficult this was going to be. I try to help as much as I can, hiking the sex stopper up. No way was he going to turn me on this much and not finish the job because of some dress. His lips were on my neck, trailing up and down. His hand on my breast, stroking me in the way only he knows. Confusion sets in when he stops and I finally realize it.

"What? What's wrong?" I lean towards him, trying to capture his lips with my own. But he pulls away and just stares at me. His hand was stroking the side of my face. He kissed me tenderly and I could feel his love for me. He pulled his hand away and fiddled with something in his pocket. Just as I was about to ask what the hold up was he pulled a box from his pants.

"Marry me?" I'm confused. He can't be serious. But as I look him in the eyes and see no joke behind his offer I realize he is serious. I apprehensively look down at the now open box. I gasp lightly at the ring. It had to be at least two carats. It's an emerald cut on top of a white gold band. I look back at him; unable to find the words I so desperately want to say. As I finally find my voice, the worst thing in the world happens. The door swung open. Lita and one of the groomsmen were looking at us both shocked. With my dress hiked up and my left leg around Darien's waist I clear my voice and gain his attention.

"I will." He slammed the door shut and we finish what we had begun.

I hope you liked it. It's not going to be long at all. I just really felt a need to write a sequel. Expect an update weekly. At least bi-weekly.

Karmic-Balance


	2. Guilt is such a pain in the ass

Hey guys…Been a while? I hope everyone had a great holiday! I don't really have an excuse for my long hiatus and unfortunately I can't really make any promises on updates but I can promise to try! I really hope you enjoy this because I enjoyed writing it.

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Is this really happening? Did I really just say yes? I can't help but stare at Darien as I watch him button his trousers and tuck his shirt back in. His eyes raise and catch mine. Is this really who I want to be my husband? The man I wake up to, every day of my life? The man who I give children to or who takes care of me when I'm sick? Who I will fight tooth and nail with over all the mundane details of married life? And then the man in question smiled at me, just a slight grin, enough to show me his adorable dimples and with that smile I felt my answer. My body was almost humming, "Here comes the bride, all dressed in off-white because who is she trying to fool!"

"So…Can I say you officially said yes or should I ask again when we aren't preparing to have mind blowing sex?" I watch as he straightens his bow tie or at least tries to. I smooth out my dress and smile at him as I step forward, shooing his hands away from his task and replacing his with mine.

"Well that depends…are you insinuating I can't make a logical decision when you are distracting me with your very expert penis?" I fix his tie and my hands slowly drift down. My hands running down his now covered chest and his flat, tight stomach. I trace my fingers around his belt buckle and smile when his breath hitches and his eyes slowly close.

"I think Lita may literally be standing outside the door, tapping her foot. But I don't mind giving her an encore." His eyes are fully opened and staring lustfully at me. All I do is smile as my hand slides just a bit further. I can feel his erection starting to build. I move closer to his body, pressing into him and feeling his hardness on my stomach now. I feel his hands clench on my waist, his breathing coming out in short gasps.

"I will marry you." I tap his penis with my knuckle and kiss him on the nose. He groans loudly and drops his head as he realizes I have no intention of an encore. His chin rests in the crook of my neck and he effortlessly starts kissing my neck. I place both hands on his chest and push him away, roughly.

"Tell anyone you want, I think we know who has the most control. Let's go Rico Suave." I squeal like a pig. It's hard to say if the majority of my excitement came from my newly acquired fiancée or the fact that I am actually getting married. Sorry to disappoint my fellow cynics and ho-haters but I have crossed over to the dark side. Yes that is right ladies I intend to 'oooh' and 'ahhh' at all the pretty dresses and flowers and giggle when I get told what a beautiful bride I will be. I am everything I once hated and yet somehow I don't care. I glare at Darien, only for a moment, and think, damn man.

"Ready?" I ask and he nods an affirmative and smiles as he takes my hand and we exit the now defiled closet. I'm just glad there is no security guard waiting outside for me this time. Let's just say I am no longer welcomed at the happiest place on earth. As we exit the closet I glance from side to side making sure we were in the clear. When I notice Lita is not waiting to pounce we bolt down the hall. That was easy… a little too easy. I slow down, feeling Darien lightly bump into me. You know that feeling you get right before you are about to hurl at the worst possible moment? Yeah I feel about ready to blow chunks.

Right before we round the corner into the safety of the masses four familiar bodies step into our way. One pair of eyes glowing with anger, the second pair containing rainbows and kittens I'm sure. The third is filled with humor and the fourth…oh how I hate that look. The fourth pair of eyes is just staring at me with humor and smugness in those blue depths. A smugness that can only be gained by someone who knows I'm crumbling to all those walls of sarcasm and cynicism I built up. A look that says, 'I knew you were just a big pile of gooey goo'. As we near them I swear I almost see them stiffen as if we were playing a game of Red Rover.

"Hello ladies. How's the reception going?" I roll my eyes at Darien's pathetic attempt to keep them from bringing up the bright pink elephant in the room. Amateur. I always feel pity for men who think they can distract women away from juicy gossip. That would be like placing a slice of cheesecake in front of a poor, menstruating woman and thinking you can say "that's not for you." And then realizing what a silly mistake you made when said women elbows you in the face and scarfs down half the cheesecake while you bleed on the floor.

"Uh let me handle this. Can you go get me a piece of cake before it's all headed to the bride's ass?" I basically shove him towards the reception hall, giving him a defeated look. Yes I am a big enough person to admit I have been defeated. Anyone that can win against these four women, I will personally vow my undying allegiance to. Slowly but surely all four women (technically four in a half because Amy is about ready to pop) surround me, sealing my fate.

"So I heard a funny story Serena…want to hear how it goes?" And Mina starts us off. I feel like a baby antelope being taunted by lions before they rip the poor, adorable, and completely misunderstood antelope to shreds. I wonder if I dip my head down if that will show them I'm surrendering. I don't want any sudden movements to startle them into attack-mode. I have an important date coming up that I'd like to attend.

"Actually I think I've heard it before. A priest and a rabbi right?" I feel Amy's belly bump me and I shiver from mild repulsion. While many people might see pregnancy as a profound miracle of life, it just grosses me out. I swear she bumps me on purpose just to bug me. One time I felt it move and I spent the next three hours scrubbing my hand all the while imagining the birth scene from Alien.

"No actually," I shoot Lita a look of complete desperation. She has always been the one to stand in front of me and say 'enough.' I could always count on her….

"It's actually about a neurotic, angry blonde who accepted a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!"

Damn that brown haired wench to the deepest circle of hell! Like I was saying earlier, I could always count on her to turn on me! She reels me in, offering me a false sense of security and then gives me a wedgy and says "Gotcha!" Metaphorically speaking of course. What? That's just as bad, if not worse then literally speaking!

"Ha ha, yeah I think I've heard that one. It's not as funny as you guys would think. Don't worry I won't bore you with the punch line." I try to make my way out of the circle of death they have me in but alas I am trapped. Sighing in defeat I hold my hands up and start.

"Mina. Raye. Amy. Lita. I have some news to tell you and of course I want you four to be the first to hear." I take a deep breath, all the while hoping I am laying it on thick enough to assuage their constant heckling. "Darien has asked me to marry him and I said yes!" I smile big and wait for the ridicule to follow.

"We knew this was coming. I just don't think any of us believed it would come about during a game of hide the sausage." Amy laughs and shakes her head at me.

"I did! We are talking about the same girl who called us _during_ one of her steamy sessions just to remind us about what time we were leaving for Atlantic City! She never has anything to say when her vagina is empty! Only when her cup is full…so to speak." One time I did this! One time! And Raye can't let it go! I have a very bad memory, if I hadn't called when I thought of it I would have forgotten! Plus the phone was right there. It only made sense to make the call…right?

"I just never expected her to say yes." I shoot Ray my most fear inspiring glare and then drop it almost immediately when she starts laughing harder. I forgot that nothing short of me suddenly taking an interest in being a better person would scare them. Not to say that I'm not a good person but…who am I trying to fool?

"Enough! For Christ's sake! Yes I am getting married. Yes we are all surprised. And yes I am the most surprised but I have changed. And it's because of the man that I agreed to marry. So you pain's in the ass need to start acting more goddamn happy about this or I'm going to elope! Got it?" The part about eloping was aimed more at Mina. The best way to get the other girls to cooperate is to control the ringleader. And the best way to control this ringleader is by taking away her chance to be center of attention. I know what you're thinking, aren't I supposed to be the center of attention?' And I would say you have a very valid point and that is the extent of the answer to that question.

Mina, while a very caring, generous and thoughtful friend, is often at times…oh what's the word? Selfish? Hmm maybe self-centered? Or I know, self-oriented. Now I don't want you getting the wrong idea about one of my dearest friends. She is always to be counted on and she is more often than not my go-to gal but I hold no illusions that she wouldn't shove my face into a puddle of mud and stand oh so adorably on top of me if a cute boy came strolling passed us.

"Serena stop acting so dramatic! Already we have a bride-zilla on our hands!" I watch as Mina throws her hands in the air and rolls her eyes at my comment. All the while I just smile smugly as my doppelganger walks right into my trap.

"Thanks so much Mina. I'd like to see how you would act if our roles were reversed and you were being harassed about your sudden engagement." Theatrics are the only things that get through those thick heads. Mina stiffens a bit and I can tell what I said hurt her.

"You're right. Congrats. I'm going to head back to the reception." Damnit! How does this woman do it? She knows exactly which string to pull and oh how well she pulls it. I guess it doesn't help knowing she just ended her relationship with a man she, and I quote, "would squeeze out a couple" for. Said man was caught with another women squeezing something entirely different.

"Wait Mina…" Too late. I could only watch as her slumped shoulders walked back to the dance hall. I hate emotions. No I take that back. I hate guilt. I love all the other emotions, hate, anger, orgasmic bliss, are all amazing emotions, it's just that damn guilt that I despise so much.

"You sure know how to stick that big foot of yours in your mouth. I'm sure Darien appreciates that flexibility. Silver lining right?"

"Ha…ha. I'm sure I'll be rolling on the floor with laughter any minute Lita." I sigh, loudly. This is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life and all I feel is guilt. My happiness has slowly but surely been snuffed out. Which means there is only one thing to do.

"Come on girls." And with the wave of my hand we all start heading into the direction one very depressed blonde left in.

* * *

She is one of my best friends. She is one of my best friends. She is…a huge pain in the ass. I can't believe I am doing this…

"Excuse," Is this stupid thing even on? "Testing. Testing. Orange, tango, fox trot." By all the confused stares I'm guessing this microphone is on. "Hi. I think most of you know who I am. For those of you who don't, my name is Serena. Incase you are all wondering what I'm doing on stage interrupting the festivities I just have an announcement to make." I pause, mostly because I really don't want to do this and I am trying to gather the tiny bit of courage I have together. I catch Darien's eye and I practically see them twinkle. What a goober.

"I am newly engaged." Okay pause, allow the shock to set in, the anger to wash over the bride, and the envy of the women who know exactly who it is I am engaged to. "Now while that is an announcement that is not the announcement I was talking about. I wanted to announce that one of my nearest and dearest friends Mina, Mina honey where are you?" Now she has to come out! And she sure enough she _shly_ makes her way to the front of the crowd. How little these people know. "There you are! I wanted to announce that this brilliant woman will be planning it all! Not only that but," I hate this part. "She will be helping me make all the major decisions. What else is the maid of honor for? I put my faith in her!" Smile big, bow slightly to her, and now walk off the stage to embrace her for a hug.

"Sere you are amazing. I can't believe you want me to be your maid of honor. You are making the right decision! Oh I can't wait to start making preparations!" Mina is smiling as wide as a chesire cat. Okay so maybe it's not that bad putting her in charge of the wedding. She is quite good with getting people to do what she wants. I can be example A. And she does have impeccable taste and a great pallet for food. So why was I so worried about making this decision. I had this nagging feeling during my whole speech that I was putting myself in grave danger but I can't for the life of me…As I see three pairs of eyes glaring daggers at me, I suddenly remember why I was worried about making Mina my maid of honor.

'Here comes the bride. All torn to shreds.'

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Well there's chapter 2. Again I hope you liked it. Please review and let me know what you think. I always enjoy getting feedback-whether positive or negative. Thanks! Until next time

~Karmic-Balance~


	3. Two months you say?

Hi guys! I just wanted to say thank you to those who reviewed. It really meant a lot and I dedicated my quick update to all of you.

Standard Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Sailormoon

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Many people might consider me lucky. I'm funny and witty and let's face it drop dead gorgeous. Not to mention that fact that I am now recently engaged to an amazingly sexy and delicious man who knows how to make my toes curl and my body tingle. But while all of these are obvious pros, I can list four cons that cancel out all these amazing things. The first con is that Raye is mad at me for making Mina my maid of honor. The second con is that Amy is mad at me for making Mina my maid of honor. The third con is that Lita is mad at me for making Mina my maid of honor. Which leaves the last con, drum roll please! The fourth con is that I made Mina my maid of honor!

I know I brought this all on my self by shucking my bitter, cynical, man-whore hating self out the window but I'd like to meet the woman who could resist those dimples and that amazing body that knows all the right moves. The man found my weakness and worked his way into my heart. I know what you're thinking. That son of a bitch! Yes I have had these same thoughts myself. The rat bastard knew what he was doing. He wanted my heart and he never relented until it was his. Now I'm sure there are those of you out there going "ooooooh" and "awwwww" but I'd better not catch you doing it. Ever hear of projectile vomit? Well I've mastered it.

Bringing the topic back to my four cons. All these women mean the world to me. I love each and every one of them because of everything that makes them unique. I love Amy's ability to make me feel like a complete moron for not knowing the difference between mayonnaise and miracle whip. And the way Lita stares at me when I lose a band-aid while baking cookies. Or the way Raye slaps me so hard, I can actually see Tweety bird flying around my head. But my favorite is the way Mina can drive my car into the reservoir and then get me to apologize to her because I gave her the keys in the first place. So you see the amazing things that made me love them all?

I hate hurting them. I know all but Mina are upset that I didn't make them my maid of honor. But what was I supposed to do? It's maid of honor not made me choose her, her, and her! So here I am, in quite a pickle I might say and the only person I can talk to is a man who thinks all I have to do is ask them to respect my decision. After that advice, I am one hundred percent sure that he still believes in Santa Claus and unicorns.

"Serena I don't understand what is so difficult about being a _grown up_ and telling them to just get over it. We are all adults aren't we?" Somewhere in the back of my head I know he's right but it just seems to easy!

"But you should have seen the way they were looking at me! As if they wanted to mangle me. I mean you saw them! Other than Mina attaching herself to my hip, the girls couldn't get away from me faster. I mean they were even talking to Carrie, the world's most annoying and physically taxing bride! I'd walk up to them and they would scatter! Scatter for crying out loud!" And now I'm starting to cry! Gosh! This is so unfair. I should be picking out floral designs and caterers not trying to make my best friends love me again.

"It's okay baby. I'm sure they will all come around. Please don't cry. Come on, remember how excited you were when I asked?

"Yeah, yeah." I shoo his hand away from me and continue brooding.

"I don't think you heard me love. I said remember how _excited_ you were when I asked you to marry me." I feel his lips latch onto my neck and slowly move to my collarbone. Oh lord that feels good....

"Dar-darien…you are tr-trying to dis-dis…oh." Was I saying something? It doesn't matter. His hands are moving down and his lips are close behind them…goodbye.

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep._ Crap! I lurch upright, my hand desperately trying to find the source of that horrible beeping noise. There is no noise worse than that of an alarm clock. Give me car alarms, ambulance sirens; hell I'll even take jackhammers, anything but the persistent, obtrusive, and ear splitting sound of an alarm clock. I finally find the off button and victoriously turn it off. A second longer it would have been hurled across the room.

Groggy. Dazed. Tired. There are not enough synonyms to describe my state of exhaustion. Darien kept me up all night. Not that I'm complaining because what a way to remain conscious. But that doesn't change the fact that I fell asleep all of three hours ago. If I didn't have to scout out locations for the wedding I would still be comatose. I know what you are all thinking. Didn't I just get engaged last night? And you would be correct. But what you don't know is that I hate long engagements. They are such a waste of time. If I could I'd never be engaged and just go from dating to married.

Which is why we are getting married in two months. I wanted two weeks and Darien thought six months would be better. You can see we compromised. Two months is just enough time to send out the invitations (which go out by the end of the week), choose the location, make the menu, and lose enough weight to fit into the wedding dress I will be buying one size too small.

Mina is supposed to be meeting me at our favorite café for a quick brunch. I of course invited Amy, Lita, and Raye but now I'm not sure if they will show up. I don't know what I'll do if they don't come around. What woman is happy without the most important people in her life standing beside her on the most important day of her life? Women can be such buttheads. With a heavy sigh I throw the blankets off of me and swing my legs over the side of the bed. This feels like it is going to be a long day.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late Mina. I just couldn't make myself get outta the shower." The hot water was working miracles on my stress and the steam made my skin so soft and clean.

"What, Darien not satisfying you enough?" I should have seen her mind diving in that direction. This woman thinks of sex during family reunions. I've begged her to seek help but she feels like has "a good grasp" on this situation. Take for instance her "grasp" on Paul's _situation_ and her "grasp" on Evan's _situation_. Oh and who could forget her "grasp" on John's _situation_. Grasp is Mina's code word for sex. Not very clever but it works for her.

"If there is one thing Darien is good at, it's satisfying me." I smile widely at her and toss in a wink just for kicks. When I see her look of repulsion and shiver of disgust I only laugh. I can play her game too and I play to win.

"Anyway, if you can keep you mind out of the gutter long enough we can order brunch. I'm thinking of getting the spinach and feta omelet with a fruit cup. What about you?" Uh-oh, I think I've started to salivate. Yup, that is definitely saliva that just dripped out of the corner of my mouth.

"Shouldn't we wait for the girls before you make a pig of yourself?" Is she serious? Does she not realize I have been ostracized for my very public decision of maid of honor? I think this girl is on some type of narcotic. It's the only explanation for how empty her head is.

"Mina are you serious right now? I doubt the girls will be showing up today since they are most definitely still pissed off at me for making you M.O.H. I haven't even spoken to any of them since last night. And after my announcement I didn't even speak to them!" It's blondes like her that give the rest of us blondes a bad rep.

"M.O.H.? Serena please stop speaking in code. Why on earth would they be mad at you? We are all thrilled you are getting married!" God help me.

"Maid of honor you walking blonde wind tunnel! And they are all pissed that I chose you above any of them." She is impossible to talk to! This is the person who will be helping me plan the biggest event of my life and she can't even decipher the simplest acronym. I should have known. She still has yet to realize that O.M.G. isn't an actual word. But then again most of the teenage population hasn't figured that one out either.

"Serena do you really think us that petty?" I whipped my head around so fast I felt like I was experiencing a life size flip book. I could only stare, open mouth and wide eyed at Raye. Suddenly I'm starting to feel a little nervous. I wonder if this is a trap. Maybe they are planning on taking Mina out to increase their odds of being maid of honor. And sure enough Lita and Amy are following up the rear.

"Serena, all three us have talked this out and we have decided that while yes, we were all hurt that you made such an important decision somewhat rashly and not very well thought out, it would be completely disgraceful for three of your best friends to not support you and be at you beckon call throughout the duration of you wedding planning." Amy smiles genuinely and leans back in her chair, rubbing her belly as if she were Buddha himself.

"Yeah don't worry about it Sere. It's your decision to make anyway and while she probably can't spell maid of honor, she will undoubtedly be a spectacular choice." Lita slaps me on the shoulder while blowing a raspberry at the now indignant Mina. If the woman hadn't just proven Lita correct mere moments before they arrived I'd feel for her. But frankly I'm thinking about buying her hooked on phonics for her birthday. I smile at Lita and Amy and slowly my eyes drift to Raye, who looks bored and begrudged.

"Yeah, yeah, we are all _so_ happy for you. Blah blah. Can we order now?" I just shake my head as I watch her pretend to decide what she wants to eat. This is bullshit and I'll be damned if I let her get away with this.

"Excuse me? For the past twenty-four hours I have been beyond worried, terrified even, that I wouldn't have my best friends, my sisters, my life lines at my wedding and this is the apology you offer me? Give me one good reason not to get up and leave right now?" I wish Darien had been here for my little speech. I'm sure he would have loved it. He never understood how I could be so domineering with him and such a coward with these women. I'm starting to wonder that myself.

"Serena we all see the drool in the corner of your mouth, so I think it's safe to say you aren't going anywhere. But if it makes you feel better, I am sorry you were so daft to think we wouldn't be a part of your wedding simply because you didn't choose one us to be your maid of honor. Better?" Her eyes never left the menu and neither did the smile she donned when I had finished my speech in the first place. But I still won. And with that thought I smiled widely.

"If I could I'd make you all my maid honor. If only there was some surgery out there that could combine all four of you into one super being! There'd be no stopping you!" I laugh as I watch them all roll their eyes one by one. It sort of looked like they were doing the wave but with their eyes. Wait a second…

"Wait a second…Why can't I? I mean it's my wedding isn't it? And if I want four maids of honor who is going to stop me? There's a lot of preparations to be made, especially since we only have two months-"

"Two months? Are you insane woman?" Amy bites out.

"The menu alone will take you two months to figure out!" And Lita follows close behind.

"You think you are going to lose enough weight in that little time?" Thanks Raye.

"How the hell am I supposed to be ready in two months?! Do you ever think of anyone else?" I almost forgot Mina was here.

"Yes two months. That's it. That is why I think having four maids of honor is so much better than having one. I'll get things done four times as fast! Now everyone shut the hell up for the time being and let's order before I drool so much they issue a flood warnings!" And with that they all shut their mouths (albeit slowly) and I frantically flag down our waiter. Spinach and feta omelet, consider yourself devoured!

* * *

Man what a day! After brunch all four of us traipsed all over town looking at locations for the wedding. Incase anyone was curious or unaware; Chuckie Cheese's does offer wedding packages. And if you book with them, same day, you and all your guests get fifteen dollars in tokens! I do love me some skeet-ball.

Sadly we found no ideal places today. A couple of possibilities but nothing I was overjoyed about. We did however find a florist! It was like fate shoved me face first into a batch of azaleas. Actually that is exactly what happened, except cut out the fate part and add the name Mina.

The florist's name is Lily (yes everyone and their mother are aware of how ironic that is) and she is exactly what I'm looking for. She was the first woman that I have come across who didn't swoon and giggle when I mentioned I was getting married. And she didn't suggest pink! Good lord help me if she had. I am very aware of the fact that I am a girl. The presence of my vagina only solidified that fact for me. And I am aware that most girls dress in pink, decorate in pink, dress their Chihuahuas in pink but I don't. I hate wearing pink, I avoid furniture that is pink and I hate Chihuahuas (regardless of what they are wearing).

While I have found the florist I want we haven't made any type of decision on flowers. I have made no progress in that direction but at least I made one decision today! One decision down only nine hundred thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine decisions left. That's nothing…okay so many I'll start making more than one decision a day.

"Hey baby how was your day?" Yikes! Where the hell did he come from? It's so strange sharing an apartment with a man. I have actually never lived with another man before. I must say I don't particularly love it. Darien is so messy and unorganized. Not that I am much better, it did take me two days to find the remote control (it was in the toilet tank, I was as confused as you are) but I can at least put dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.

"Long and not too productive. But I did find a florist! She is so nice and has so many ideas on floral arrangements and color combinations. I never realized how much decision-making there was in all this. Can't I just close my eyes and point?" Wouldn't that be a lovely way to live? Or I could just take that spinner from the game twister and assign answers to all the colors. Red will be "yes", blue will be "no", yellow will be "place the blame elsewhere".

"Speaking of flowers I got you this?" I turned my head just in time to watch him produce a single white rose from behind his back. I smile, the kind of smile you can feel on the inside as well, and take my favorite colored rose from my fiancée.

"Thank you Darien. I should get this in some water before the petals starts to wilt." As I start to stand up he stops me.

"Aren't you going to smell it? What if it smells like poop? Would you want to keep a poop smelling rose in our house?" The man has a point. I can't help but laugh and bring the rose towards my nose. I inhale deeply but not because of the aroma. Inside the rose sitting delicately on the petals, is a ring. My eyes immediately dart up to his, only to find him smiling with that boyish grin on his face that makes my knees feel like they are filled with Jell-O.

"I realized that while I may have already asked you to marry me, I didn't go about it in the most traditional of ways." I inhale again, this time more sharply then before. I watch as he takes the ring out of the flower and then flower out of my hand, placing it gently down beside me. He goes to one knee, his eyes never leaving me as he picks up my left hand, gently caressing it. Then suddenly he brings my hand to his lips, kissing each finger, in no particular order. The last finger he kisses is my ring finger. I can barely see clearly through the tears that I have been futilely fighting against, I can however hear him clear as a bell.

"Serena Carter. When I first met you, I swear you were out to see me publicly castrated. I had never wanted a woman more in my entire life. Your fire, your spark and that quick wit I just can't get enough of reeled my in. You are beyond words. I am the luckiest son of a bitch. So my love, my untamed beauty, will you," I feel the smooth, cool metal sliding against my skin, "be my wife and eternal spark?" My eyes go back and forth between the gorgeous emerald cut diamond that rests atop a white gold band, with diamonds lining the band and the gorgeous man kneeling before me. Damnit all if I'm not melting to my very core.

"Of course." I grab at his collar and drag him up to my lips. I can't contain my joy as my lips ravage his and my tongue finds his eagerly awaiting tongue as well. When I feel him pushing me into the couch, resting his weight just above me I realize there is something of immediate urgency I have to take care of. And with that I slide out from under him and run out of the room.

"God! Are you kidding me? I put that huge rock on your finger, am romantic to the point of cheese overload and you run out on me in this state?!" I laugh at his obvious frustration and pop my head in the room to answer back.

"Exactly! I have to go describe this rock to the four soon to be jealous beyond a doubt girls!" And with that I squeal with delight (yes squeal, let's see how much you squeal when you get a rock this size!) and pick up the phone. Mina is going to be the first to hate me. Now this kind of hate I love.

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I hope you all liked it. I would just like to say that the part about chuckie cheese is completely made up. I have no idea if they offer any type of specials for weddings and what not. Again if you like, please review. Reviews brighten my day! Until next time!

~Karmic~


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